Life Insurance

I’ve always carried a large life insurance policy for the last 20+ years. I think it’s good that my family is taken care of if something happens to me. This morning I had to do an update because my original term was for twenty years. I was apprehensive about how the insurance company will perceive me as a risk. According to Quotacy, life insurance companies’ responses vary to transgender applicants. We recently worked with an applicant who had surgically transitioned from male to female. We completed an underwriting study—which is when we go to the different life insurance companies and […]

What does Suicidal Look Like?

If your mother, father, husband, wife, son, daughter, lover or friend was suicidal could you recognize it? What does suicidal look like? Is it recognizable? Is it a frown? Is it a sad look? In which one of the following pictures am I suicidal? Please pick one. The truth is, it’s all of them, the one most people will say my driving shot #3. While I total remember when I took this shot, I had let my guard down on purpose just for a moment. It was a rare private moment where I was truthful with myself and this was […]

Supreme Court

We had a major win this past year for LGBT rights, and this past weekend Donald Trump nominated Amy Coney Barrett for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. Is this just part of the madness of 2020? How will this affect our community? The current decision on transgender rights was voted 6 to 3 so I don’t think it will change if a similar case is heard before the Supreme Court. However, that does not help our community with other cases and our other rights. Barring an act of god, Amy Coney Barret will probably spend decades on the […]

The Evolution of Coming Out

When someone in the transgender community comes out it is usually fought with stress and emotion that can range all over the place. My journey was typical of many transgender people’s story. First, I didn’t want to admit I was transgender. Being such was wrought with guilt and shame beyond most people’s comprehensions, even mine. I got to the point that I considered death as a viable option instead of simply being me. I went through six different stages in my journey. Many of these happened in random orders and even some happened at the same time. It’s not like […]

Prejudice from the Older Generation

The picture on the left is me at my office before coming out. The picture on the right is during a play where I played a doctor, but it’s one of the few pictures of me as a doctor. This past year and a half has been very eventful. When I first went full time at my office, I think I got ma’am about 30% of the time. Anyway, I had an elderly gentleman come in. I think I was full time maybe two weeks. He asked for the doctor, I told him I was the doctor. He looked at […]

What is Passing?

What is passing? It’s that thing that puts dread into any transgender person’s persona. Especially people like me who have gender dysphoria about their looks. I was offered a great two-day gig. However, I had to wear guy clothes for the gig because that’s all I had in my closet. I asked to wear a dress but was told that is not what people wear doing that job. And to be honest it would be inappropriate for a cameraperson at a big event where you are supposed to be ninja like, very unseen. So, I sucked it up and downed […]

BLM from a Trans Angle

Our world is in chaos. Currently we have rioting and civil unrest in the streets. There is a narrative that has fractured our communities and our nation. This has given the rise to a movement called Black Lives Matter. Since I cannot do justice to this community I reached out to a friend for help. She wants to help both our community and the Black Lives Matter community. I also felt it would be appropriate that she speak on this because she is a black transgender woman. Let me tell you a little about Teryl Lynn Foxx. We met this […]

Together or Separate

“Together or Separate,” is the question I get when I go out to eat with my wife. Before I came out waiters always just gave me the check. Many times, my wife paid and even when she gave them her credit card, they would still always hand it back to me. It seemed like it was an unwritten rule. The guy always gets the bill. However, since I’ve transitioned, we get the phrase, “Is that together or separate?” I think it’s one of the things that annoys my wife the most. I mean how do lesbian or gay couples feel […]

They Finally See US !

“WE HAVE RIGHTS!” My world exploded this morning. The three much-anticipated Supreme Court decisions have been rendered. The court held that Title VII protects gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people even if they were not in the mind of those who wrote the law. It was a six to three decision from a conservative Supreme Court. This is a watershed moment in the LGBT history. Not only because of this decision but because it has such broad reaching implications to our community. They finally see us! The Supreme Court heard arguments in three cases to determine if people can discriminate […]

Getting to Acceptance

Acceptance is an animal many transgender people struggle with all their lives. Several online groups help with this so much it’s unbelievable. However, even in these groups some can act as nasty toxic trolls who are not very accepting at times and they are even transgender. Maybe they are stuck in the anger stage of their own transition, who knows. One of my best friends, who is not transgender but is a true transgender ally, was attacked because of a comment she made. You see she has a transgender son and made a comment about coming to terms with her […]