Hello and to start things off “Happy New Year”. Sorry you have not heard from me in a while. Like everyone else I did have my own issues to deal with in the year 2020, but not losing Hope and Faith that everything would get better. After being scammed and hacked it has been extremely hard to get my life back on track to trust in phone calls and emails to answer.
I do not know where to start this time other than for 40 Years I had battled what was deep inside of myself to come out and “Be Free”. When I first started dressing up as a girl from the age of 13 until 53, I would fight with myself on why I needed to dress up. So many people today when I tell my story, they would throw religion in my face saying, “God didn’t make you a woman or would like you dressing as one and I thought that was true since I was an 0Alter Boy. Years later God did show me why I was dressing so much, and He allowed me to find out when I attended the 2010 Philadelphia Trans Health Conference. Time in and time out thinking I was not a good person and be better off dead was on my mind. Because I love baseball, being a DJ, and wanting to be a cop, my doctor who was my psychiatrist thought I had multiple personality. He said out of all my personality that Karen was the strongest and then placed me on lithium. Later I went to see another psychiatrist who was a Christian. She was trying to change me with Bible scriptures, little did she know that was not the case. I wished I had known a doctor that knew I was Transgender, instead of pumping my head with lies. Years later I got married and now my ex knew of my past, after I told her. Throughout the years she would ask if I were still dressing as a woman and I would say,” No”. but I was dressing whenever I got the chance. I hated to lie to her, but I knew how she felt about my dressing. 19 years later we got divorced, but I am not sure as of today if it was because of my dressing or her going back to her ex-husband. She would always throw up in my face by saying, “You would make an Ugly Woman”! Years later I had tried three times to reach her to clear my conscious as a Christian to say, “I Am Sorry”, but she has not responded to my calls. I thought as a Christian she was, that she would have responded back and forgive me. May be one day, but I doubt it, but God knows I tried and is happy with me for giving it my best. Friends of mine always wonder why I cared to reach her, and I just felt I owed it to her. Well, the “Battle Within” is no longer there, because I am now 200% Happier than I have ever been! Timing in life is wonderful when you think you are battling what you think, or feel are demons in your life. Trust in God on what He places in your heart, he just maybe talking to you on who and what you should do. I know without a doubt if I did not turn my ear and heart to God, I may not be who I am today, a Happy Woman.
You can find my TEDx Talk when you Google my name. If you need to talk you can email me at kkholmes@kkholmes.com or visit my personal website at http://www.KKHolmes.com In my next article I’ll talk about “Speaking In Front of People”. Until then Shoot for the Moon and even if You Miss, You’ll Be Among the STARS!
Author Profile
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Karen Kendra Holmes works for the Federal Government as a Safety Officer. Besides her full- time job with the Federal Government she is a part-time radio host on WPFW 89.3 FM on the “Inside Out LGBTQ Show” on WPFW 89.3 FM. She also writes a column for Baltimore OUTloud under the column called “Trans Lives”. Karen received the Engendered Spirit Award from Capital Pride on June 7, 2018. She also was a TEDx Speaker with TEDx Asbury Park, NJ on May 19, 2018. In April 2017 she received the “2017 Monica Roberts Advocacy Award”. She was selected in January 2017 by LGBTQ Nation as one of the “Top 50 Successful Transgender Americans You Need to Know”. In May of 2015, she was honored in a special edition among 41 other women from around the world in The Platform Magazine, for up and inspiring females who have made a difference with their platform and inspired others with their positive values towards others. In April 2014 she received the “Willis Greene Community Service Award” and the “Unsung Hero Award-Team” by the Corporation for National & Community Service. In October 2013 she received “Soldier of the Year”, out of the country, by the State Guard Association of the United States out of 24 states and 23 thousand soldiers. In December 2012 she received “NCO Soldier of the Year” by the Maryland State Guard Association and The Maryland Defense Force. She was selected in August 2012 by The International Women’s Leadership Association, "A Woman of Outstanding Leadership in the Business Owner Division".
With the Maryland Defense Force under the Maryland National Guards she was a Staff Sergeant with Force Protection, the Chaplain’s Unit as a Chaplain’s Assistance, Honor Guard, and MWR. She has been doing volunteer work with the American Red Cross for the National Capital Region since 2009 on the Disaster Action Team. For several years, she has been volunteering with Community Emergency Response Team (CERTs) in Prince George's County, MD, and also with the Medical Reserve Corps. She sits on the board for the Retired Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) in Prince George's County, MD. Karen also use to sit on the board for DC Metro PFLAG working with the Transgender Community. She is now the chapter president of the Transgender Veterans Support Group (TVSG) for Maryland. Before Karen’s transitioned, she previously volunteered with the Maryland National Capital Park and Planning Commission Park Police Prince George's County Division for 7 years, 5 of them as their President, and received several awards for her service, such as two Commander’s Awards and two Volunteer of the Year Awards. In December 2005 she received the Governor’s Crime Prevention Award for her outstanding work and leadership with Park Police Volunteer Association. She has her own side business called SafetyFirst DMV and is certified as an instructor through the National Safety Council (NSC). Karen believes whole heartedly in the importance of and Giving Back to her Community.
