HIV/AIDS is a disease that has ravaged the gay community. It’s scary that at one time in my life I didn’t know anyone who was HIV infected. Slowly but surely I’m learning that some people who have come into my life are battling with this disease. Safe sex is something we all should practice, not that we all don’t fall short of glory. I, myself have engaged in raw sex, and I must say it feels damn good. To feel that penis slide in you like a hot knife through butter is very tempting and makes you want to throw caution to the wind and have raw sex every time. However, by now we all know the consequences of our actions or others. I had my own little consequence to deal with. The first guy that I ever slept with didn’t use a condom. I was young and very naïve. Since we both were in the military and were tested on a regular basis for HIV, I didn’t think it would hurt if we engaged in raw sex. The second time we had sex, he came inside of me. He claimed he got so excited that he forgot to pull out. Immediately I start to panic. All it takes is one time. How could I have been so careless? Three days later while at work I had this unnatural urge to urinate. While urinating, this reddish jelly like substance came out of my penis. It didn’t burn or anything. Now, I was really scared. I kept telling myself it’s not HIV, how could it be we are all tested in the military. Little did I know at the time that there are people serving our country that are HIV positive, as a matter of fact they recommend you stay in the military if you’re positive because the medical benefits would be to your advantage.
I summed up the nerve to go to the clinic, and get tested. I explained to the doctor what happened. No, I didn’t tell him I’m sleeping with men. When the test came back, I was negative. No HIV, thank GOD and no other form of STD’s, I was completely clean. To be on the safe side they gave me a shot of penicillin and told me to avoid having sex for seven days, no masturbation as well. Why is it when you’re directed not to have sex, that’s the only thing on your mind?
I was lucky, so many young naïve kids today aren’t. How many times have you been on Adam4Adam, Men4now or countless other sites and you see 18-year-old boys that are HIV positive? How many profiles and sex party ads have criteria for raw sex? It’s downright frightening, raw sex is starting to become the norm. Has a cure or a vaccine for HIV/AIDS been found? If so, when and where can I get my shot? Somebody call Magic Johnson!
I know some people who can spend eight hours or more in a bathhouse. Safe sex isn’t always practiced in those types of settings; let’s just say it’s not even on the menu for most bathhouse patrons. Either they already have the virus or some figure that it’s a matter of time before they contract the virus so why bother taking precautions. If sex parties and bathhouses are your scene, do what you do. Hopefully, we all have common sense enough to know that frequenting a bathhouse or a sex party doesn’t guarantee you’ll contract the virus. Your partner of many years could be the one to give it to you. So whatever sexual act you do decide to engage in, just be wise about it. I’m not one to tell you to practice safe sex; we should all know that by now. Besides you make your own decisions, just be sure you can live with it.
Raw Sex, Is It On Your Menu?
Mark S. King is a GLAAD Award winner who has been writing and speaking about living with HIV since testing positive in 1985. His blog, My Fabulous Disease, chronicles his life as a gay man and recovering addict living with HIV. King was named "LGBTQ Journalist of the Year" by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. He attributes his remarkable longevity with the virus to working in partnership with his doctor, the love of a good man, and double chocolate brownies made from scratch.
Photo credit: Matt Roth
Mark S. King
2020 LGBTQ Journalist of the Year (NLGJA)
2020 GLAAD Award for Outstanding Blog
2020 #OUT100 (OUT Magazine)