Sometimes I often wonder who the real winner is. You have a couple that’s been in a loving relationship for years. Well one of them after many years of being faithful decides to cheat. He still loves his partner with all of his heart and wants nothing but the best for them both. However, he can’t come clean to his partner about what he’s been doing on the side. His partner is completely oblivious to what’s been happening behind his back. He thinks he has a man that loves only him and has been faithful throughout the course of their relationship. To all of their friends and everyone else that knows of them they seem like the perfect couple.
There are three factors to take into account.
- The cheating partner, he has the perfect husband but he is also creeping. I choose to use the word creeping, because he is sleeping with random people. I would classify it as an affair if it were the same piece of ass that he was hitting every time he decided to creep. He knows it’s wrong, but the thrill of getting new ass is too great. Even though he is creeping his love for is partner continues to grow. How odd is that? Let’s not judge.
- The perfect husband, he’s your typical guy, handsome and has all the right things going for him. He is deeply in love with his partner and everyone can see it. Unfortunately for him he can’t see or is unwilling to see the indiscretions of his partner.
- The random pieces (the one night stand) are completely unaware that the guy that just sexed them within an inch of their life is in a committed relationship, basically a marriage. They have hopes of seeing him again and some even have hopes of developing something more.
So who is the winner in all of this? I say no one.
The cheater is hoping that he is not found out by his partner. Random pieces that were supposed to be one hit wonders are steadily contacting him for another taste. This was not in his plans. He seems to think that getting some on the side would be quick, easy and drama free. Being a gay man, I know nothing is drama free especially when it comes to infidelity.
The husband is still in the dark, thinking everything is peaches n’ cream.
The random pieces are clamoring to be the official arm piece; little do they know that position is filled.
Now what if the husband finds out about his partners transgressions, what should he do?
- Should he confront him? Yes.
- Now once he’s confronted his partner, what should he do?
- Should he leave him or should he give him another chance?
- If it were you, would you have wanted to remain in the dark?
If you were the cheater, would you attempt to work on your relationship? What would you suggest to your partner in order to regain his trust?
If you were the random piece, would you continue to indulge in a man that’s not emotionally available?
Were you aware that the man that just sexed your brains out, was involved with someone else and has he been lying to you the whole time while your legs are up in the air?
If he were found to have been lying to you, what would your reaction be?
These are serious scenarios or questions that we sometimes find ourselves in; would you rather stay in the dark or embrace the light and some of the harsh truths that it may hold?
Mark S. King is a GLAAD Award winner who has been writing and speaking about living with HIV since testing positive in 1985. His blog, My Fabulous Disease, chronicles his life as a gay man and recovering addict living with HIV. King was named "LGBTQ Journalist of the Year" by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. He attributes his remarkable longevity with the virus to working in partnership with his doctor, the love of a good man, and double chocolate brownies made from scratch.
Photo credit: Matt Roth
Mark S. King
2020 LGBTQ Journalist of the Year (NLGJA)
2020 GLAAD Award for Outstanding Blog
2020 #OUT100 (OUT Magazine)