Foxxy Red was the name of the first character I played in a movie. About ten years ago I decided that an easy way to come out would be for me to play female parts in movies. I thought it was brilliant because people could get use to me as a female and not be threatened by me changing my gender. I saw an audition that was casting in New Orleans for a transgender woman. I went to the audition and hit it off really well with the director.
I got the eight-page part along with a minute and a half monologue. We shot the movie in Alexandria Louisiana. They started with the monologue, bad decision. Note, if you are a director and you have a new actor never start with the hardest scene for the actor. Nerves were bad, I had trouble stringing two words together during the monologue. After the second scene everything calmed down and it went very smooth for the rest of the shoot.
After that movie I thought this might actually be a way for me to come out. So, I applied for another movie. It was for a featured extra, for those who don’t know it’s someone who appears on camera and is noticeable, but you have no lines, you are background.
I downed one of my best dresses and went to a cattle call. A cattle call is where they do a large casting for extras and others. Casting liked me and had me meet with the director. Although he didn’t think I looked female enough. Nice call for someone one with gender dysphoria. It killed my spirit; I mean how could I ever look female enough. So, I went back into hiding. My secret was once again safe. Although I did have the above picture and showed it sparingly to a few people over the next eight years.
I just want to blend in most of the time and not stick out. I am doing a much better job with this lately. I think most older transwoman have a hard time dressing age appropriate which makes them stick out. I think many, like me, never had a female young adulthood but our mind is locked into a twenty-year-old look.
I have to admit in those years I realized that I looked more like a drag queen than a woman. I think we internalize hyper-femineity to some extent, which is the reason for the drag queen comment. I do love drag queens but have to admit that I am not one. I dressed twenty years younger than I actually was. My makeup looked like a guy did it. I mean nothing looked normal. However, with the help of my wife I am starting to find a balance. While I still do like younger people’s clothes, I am getting a style that is more age appropriate. Which helps me be seen as just another woman.
Which is how I really see myself. I wish people could experience how I feel because they would start to understand me and other transgender women. I always felt conflicted through out my life with who I was supposed to be and how I saw myself. However, it took forever to figure it out because being transgender wasn’t even on my radar. As always peace, love and light. Sophie
Author Profile
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Sophie Marie White, married with three kids, is a native of South Louisiana. She draws from her varied experiences as a writer, filmmaker, producer, Director of Photography, Chiropractor, EMT, firefighter, race car driver, and boxing promoter to inspire her acting and writing. She has been active in the film industry for the past 18 plus years.
Sophie began acting a little over a year ago. Since then she has been cast in several feature films, including Hummingbird and We All Think We Are Special. Sophie was also cast in several TV series including Tell Me Your Secrets and top of show, guest-starring role, on Chicago Med. In her first year and a half of acting, she has been cast in 3 television series, 14 movies, and 1 play.
She is also a syndicated writer, who writes on transgender issues in and outside the film industry. Her screenplays have won the ISA New Orleans Writers Award 2017 and have placed at Table Read My Screenplay (New Orleans, London, and Sundance), Final Draft Fellowship, ISA Fast-track Fellowship, and New York International Fright Fest.
Films she has produced from her screenplays have won or placed at numerous film festivals including AMFM, London Independent Awards, Imagination Lunchbox, and New Zealand Film Awards, just to name a few. She has even watched one of her produced films in the White House.
Sophie is a transgender female, and with her family, she’s making her way through the complicated transition process. She brings a unique voice that is extremely under-represented in the film and television industry. Her desire to share her journey will hopefully show others that there is hope, and they are not alone. Sophie tries to live up to her motto of love, light, and peace.
