Jessica Fidget a Jersey girl who now lives in rural Pennsylvania. She is a fierce advocate, a whirlwind, and a promoter of sexy, raunchy, unforgettably good times. Amongst other things, she helped to create the Sexuality Space at Sisterspace (a women’s-only weekend in Maryland), fostered a feeling of safety and belonging for people in recovery in the leather community through speaking openly about her own recovery, as well making recovery meetings more accessible, and has instigated the spreading of Drummer North America as far and wide as possible through encouragement and engagement in #DNAnigans across the country and the #womenofdrummer movement.
Alex ‘Bear’ Conley: How did you discover the leather community and how long have you been involved?
Jessica Fidget: I discovered that there was a leather community in 2003 when I first met Spanky (Mark Bialous), who I actually met through a recovery meeting. And while I have always been kinky, since the discovery of my first kinky magazine in 1985, I didn’t know where there were others like me. Spanky persuaded me to attend the New Jersey Leather contest in October 2007 and I was formally baptized in 2008 with the New Jersey Family Chili Cook-off.
What is your favorite flag to fly?
Right now, it’s a big rainbow one that demands us to “Resist!”
What’s the accomplishment that’s made you the proudest in the leather community?
To have had the opportunity to keep serving the community in any way I can. At times people struggle due to health or financial hardships or other difficulties and I am grateful that I have been blessed with being able to keep giving back in any way that I can. Whether it’s donating crafted items, providing space for those in recovery, providing venues that others can discover their kink or their own sexual tastes. I am blessed and proudest that I have had that chance
What about outside leather?
My recovery – without this nothing else would have been possible
What is your favorite thing about the leather community?
How we can authentically be ourselves and have an amazing amount of fun doing it.
What would you like to accomplish in the next five years?
With my wife and love Toni Solenne, I hope that we can take the Women of Drummer movement and contest to amazing levels and that we in the women’s leather community can support and empower each other for the good of all … and do it by being raunchy, badass, and fierce!
Who has been an inspiration for you?
I’m a little prejudiced, but Toni Solenne has been a true inspiration to me. But I also need to say that when I see people discover that side of themselves that they have kept hidden or didn’t want to talk about and they blossom in their own kink whether its leather or not is always an inspiration to me
If you could wave a magic wand and change something about the leather community right now, what would it be?
That some people would leave their ego home and would come to the table with a sense of feeding the community as a whole and not just themselves. Hope that’s not too blunt.
Free form time! What is a message you would really like to share with all the people reading this?
Let us not forget why we got into this community in the first place. Let’s not forget the feeling we once had when we did find other like-minded people and how it made us wet and turned us on. Let’s not forget the smell of leather and sweat, let us not forget the fantasies that played in our minds and the ability to make them into reality. Let us not forget that we became part of this community to get off and live authentically ourselves.
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