I’ve had trouble lately expressing how I feel. Well to be honest, I am very overloaded by what is happening to my community. My editor finally sent me an email asking what’s up. My problem is I feel beat down. Because every time I turn on a radio or TV it’s full of hate against the transgender community. I never thought I would come out, much less end up in a war for the survival of people like me. The right of our very existence is at stake. This has been extremely draining. Even pushing me somewhat back into my […]
Breaking Free From Self-Doubt
“Internalized stigma” – I hear that phrase a lot in the spaces I frequent. I hear it so often I think it’s become a buzzword. Why do I feel bad? Internalized stigma. Why are you down on yourself? Internalized stigma. Why can’t this or that person get out of their own way? Internalized stigma. There’s very little commentary on what Internalized stigma is, just that we are having reactions to it. So … let’s define it. Overcoming internalized stigma Stigma is negative stereotypes and attitudes about a specific group of people. Internalized stigma (or “felt stigma”) is when we take […]
Surviving Life Itself
I tested HIV positive 38 years ago today. My 2017 Poz magazine essay still rings true. The young woman sitting across from me on the bus is in her mid-20s. She turns to her companion and her voice grows serious. “I know someone who died,” she says in the hushed tone reserved for tales of mortality. Her friend looks up from his phone. “He was a good friend of my brother,” she goes on. “He was killed in a motorcycle accident a few months ago. It was just awful.” As her friend offers words of comfort, my own thoughts produce […]
What Does Sexual Harassment of Transgender People Look Like?
Well here it is. During a committee meeting of the Arkansas legislature session Matt Mckee asked Dr. Gwendolyn Paige Herzig, who is transgender, “Do you have a penis?” Not only is this highly inappropriate it is also sexual harassment, plain and simple. How do you think he would have reacted to one of his Democratic rivals asking his wife if she has a penis or personal questions about her vagina? I think he needs to be fired or at a minimum censured. Where does he get off asking shit like this? Politics has become a “Got you!” game lately. I […]
Why I was an Awful Jimmy Carter …
… in my high school mock election As a high school junior in 1976, I was selected to play former Georgia governor Jimmy Carter in our mock presidential election. It taught me a lesson in politics – and the performative nature of candidacy – that is as true today as in the assembly hall of my Louisiana school nearly 50 years ago. My parents thought I should do my homework on Carter before the school event. They drove me to the local Carter for President headquarters where a campaign worker not much older than me offered an enthusiastic overview of […]
Back to The Grind
The craft of witchery So, it appears that COVID is over, and things are getting back to normal, whatever that means. For me life has changed, and somethings have remained the same. I am still happily married, and I can honestly say we are closer than we’ve ever been. I think that the people who are married and make it through transition wind up with a stronger and closer relationship. I also no longer take being married for granted. I really do love my wife; I just wish I would have known then what I know now. On the work […]
Could You Would You
I have a question for my transgender peeps. Could you, would you, dress as your old self if your spouse asked you to for an event? My wife got a new job and had an event where she was brought on board. Before you answer I think I need to add context. I understand my wife is on her own transition. That is, coming to terms of having a transgender spouse. She is a few years behind me and doing a great job. But at times it’s very hard on her and I remember how hard it is to be […]
Being an Ernest Hemmingway Fan
Being an Ernest Hemmingway fan, I asked a bartender named Jenna, kind of pictured above, if she knew what Death in the Afternoon was. She had been bartending for twenty years and had never heard of it. So, we did what every red blood American does, we googled it. Ernest Hemingway is known as much for his writing as for his drinking. Through his books and throughout his life, he championed cocktails like the Daiquiri and the Mojito, but nothing stirs the imagination quite like the Death in the Afternoon. Here’s to Hemingway for inspiring me to write today. BY […]
He Wrote That First AIDS Report in 1981
This June 5, 2021 marks 40 years since the famous report in a CDC publication, the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR), in which Dr. Michael Gottlieb outlined the troublesome cases of five gay men dealing with pneumonia and skin cancers. It is widely considered the “start” of scientific acknowledgement of the emerging AIDS crisis – before it even had a name – and the first writing about it in a scientific or governmental publication. The peculiar new cases were already on the radar of other clinicians who served gay men, of course, including the writings of New York physician Dr. Lawrence Mass in The […]
Transition and Marriage
Me and my wife have been married for over 30 years. All marriages take work; however, transgender marriages take ten times the work. That is just reality. Marriages are full of highs and lows. One of our greatest highs was when our children were born. Some of the lows can be really bad like a death of a child. Thank god we have not dealt with that. We all struggle with finding our way in the world. But as a team life is easier. For many in the transgender community, transition strains a marriage more than anything else. If you […]