Can Long Distance Relationships Last?

Part Two

Like I stated earlier I’ve been in a long distance relationship.  I was living in Bad Aibling, Germany at the time and he was living in Charleston, SC. I would spend two weeks with him every six months and we spoke several times a day.  Now this isn’t the ideal relationship that I wanted for myself. At the time I felt I loved him so I made it work the best way I could.  I bet you’re probably thinking how could I go without seeing him for six months, the sexual frustration must have been a beast. 

Yes it was tough, but I would be lying if I said I was faithful to him; I wasn’t faithful at all. Now I wasn’t sleeping with Tom, Dick and Harry, but I did have a steady piece during my stay in Germany. Yeah, Yeah I cheated; so did he.  Of course, we never told he each other. If he’s reading this, now he knows. The reason I know he cheated on me is that he introduced me to one of his friends, who just so happened to let the cat out of the bag on what happened during their first encounter.

When I left Germany I moved to Atlanta, GA, which is 4-5 hours away from Charleston depending on how you drive.  He toyed with the idea of moving to Atlanta but never did. He never visited me in Atlanta while I constantly visited him. It got to the point where he felt guilty because I had been to see him on numerous occasions when he hadn’t done the same.  So I stopped going to Charleston, and he came up with lame excuses as to why he couldn’t come to Atlanta. I do want to point out that once I moved to Atlanta I was faithful to him.

Three months had passed and he hadn’t visited. I got tired of spending Friday nights alone add to that being sexually frustrated. This was not a good mix.

Then I had a revelation of sorts.  It came in the form of my female co-worker Shuntae. Our manager wanted her to work late one Friday evening. She refused and said the following, “I have a husband to get home to.” That one sentence did it. I realized that’s what I wanted and if I stayed in this long distance relationship I would never get what I truly desire. So I left him, and vowed that I would never get involved in a long distance relationship after that.

For me the answer is clear: long distant relationships are admirable at first but in the end it won’t last.  There are forces keeping you apart for a reason. Rather than battle against them, either throw in the towel and walk away or one of you give in and move. 

I have no regrets when I think about that past relationship. I left that dead end situation for the betterment of myself and to satisfy my desire to have a husband at home when I turn the key (Whitney Houston “Run to You”). Although he’s not home waiting on me yet, I am, however, getting closer day by day.

My long distance relationship didn’t work, not because we cheated, but because one of us didn’t take time to make time.  So from now on, I won’t waste my time even entertaining the thought of a long distance relationship.  For those of you that still believe it’s possible, I ask you to tell me what have you done in the past or what are you doing today that has kept your long distance relationship intact.

To read more from Shawn Bradley go to Also, be on the lookout for his debut comedy CD titled A Bottom Like Me on iTunes in March.

Author Profile

Mark S. King
Mark S. King
Mark S. King is a GLAAD Award winner who has been writing and speaking about living with HIV since testing positive in 1985. His blog, My Fabulous Disease, chronicles his life as a gay man and recovering addict living with HIV. King was named "LGBTQ Journalist of the Year" by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. He attributes his remarkable longevity with the virus to working in partnership with his doctor, the love of a good man, and double chocolate brownies made from scratch.

Photo credit: Matt Roth

Mark S. King

2020 LGBTQ Journalist of the Year (NLGJA)
2020 GLAAD Award for Outstanding Blog
2020 #OUT100 (OUT Magazine)