My youngest son, the one pictured here, had his car hit by a guy high on drugs. It was parked on side of the road in New Orleans and yes it was totaled. The guy hit it so hard it pushed the rear tire a foot forward. Also, the car was slammed into a tree crunching the front passenger side. So, I let him borrow the truck until we did something about his car. At the beginning of December, we swapped vehicles so I could pull my equipment trailer to set of a movie we were making. On the first […]
My Armor of Numbness
My Armor of Numbness had served me well over the years however, it almost broke me in two. TRIGGER WARNING: THE SUBJECT MATTER MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME. So, what is my Armor of Numbness? It’s the shield that I wear that protects me for sad, unhappy, and terrifying events in my life. I think we all have some type of armor. Mine was especially thick for many reasons. The shield that covered my PTSD was especially thick because it had to be. Most of my PTSD came for first working on a firetruck, then secondly working on one of […]
From Actress to Actor
I have written a television series where the main charter transitions from male to female during the first and second season. The story is not about transitioning, it’s just the main character is transgender which complicates her journey just like it complicated my life. So, I decided to play a guy in another movie to a test whether I could do it for a year and a half in a series or not. I wrote a post on my Facebook about this. Post: So, tomorrow night I am to play a guy in a movie. It will be the first […]
2020 is Finally Over!
2020 is finally over, however at what cost? This past year has been a tumultuous year. Everything this past year has tested so many people. A number of people I knew died, not from COVID but other stuff. This past year is full of worry and lost for most. I was ready for 2020 in January, or so I thought. I had my first major part in a series, and I was ready for my big follow up role. It takes at least 3 roles like that to get you known. February was right on track with a dozen […]
Life Insurance
I’ve always carried a large life insurance policy for the last 20+ years. I think it’s good that my family is taken care of if something happens to me. This morning I had to do an update because my original term was for twenty years. I was apprehensive about how the insurance company will perceive me as a risk. According to Quotacy, life insurance companies’ responses vary to transgender applicants. We recently worked with an applicant who had surgically transitioned from male to female. We completed an underwriting study—which is when we go to the different life insurance companies and […]
What does Suicidal Look Like?
If your mother, father, husband, wife, son, daughter, lover or friend was suicidal could you recognize it? What does suicidal look like? Is it recognizable? Is it a frown? Is it a sad look? In which one of the following pictures am I suicidal? Please pick one. The truth is, it’s all of them, the one most people will say my driving shot #3. While I total remember when I took this shot, I had let my guard down on purpose just for a moment. It was a rare private moment where I was truthful with myself and this was […]
Supreme Court
We had a major win this past year for LGBT rights, and this past weekend Donald Trump nominated Amy Coney Barrett for a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court. Is this just part of the madness of 2020? How will this affect our community? The current decision on transgender rights was voted 6 to 3 so I don’t think it will change if a similar case is heard before the Supreme Court. However, that does not help our community with other cases and our other rights. Barring an act of god, Amy Coney Barret will probably spend decades on the […]
The Evolution of Coming Out
When someone in the transgender community comes out it is usually fought with stress and emotion that can range all over the place. My journey was typical of many transgender people’s story. First, I didn’t want to admit I was transgender. Being such was wrought with guilt and shame beyond most people’s comprehensions, even mine. I got to the point that I considered death as a viable option instead of simply being me. I went through six different stages in my journey. Many of these happened in random orders and even some happened at the same time. It’s not like […]
Prejudice from the Older Generation
The picture on the left is me at my office before coming out. The picture on the right is during a play where I played a doctor, but it’s one of the few pictures of me as a doctor. This past year and a half has been very eventful. When I first went full time at my office, I think I got ma’am about 30% of the time. Anyway, I had an elderly gentleman come in. I think I was full time maybe two weeks. He asked for the doctor, I told him I was the doctor. He looked at […]
What is Passing?
What is passing? It’s that thing that puts dread into any transgender person’s persona. Especially people like me who have gender dysphoria about their looks. I was offered a great two-day gig. However, I had to wear guy clothes for the gig because that’s all I had in my closet. I asked to wear a dress but was told that is not what people wear doing that job. And to be honest it would be inappropriate for a cameraperson at a big event where you are supposed to be ninja like, very unseen. So, I sucked it up and downed […]