All gay men have lots of anal sex and are experts at it, right? Not necessarily – many guys are intimidated by penetrative sex due to safety concerns, nervousness about potential pain, or insecurity. The good news is that these worries can be cured with a little education. Anal sex does carry certain risks that you need to be aware of, but when done safely and correctly, it can provide great pleasure to both partners.
Anal sex presents a greater risk for bottoms than for tops. This is not a myth – it is based purely on anatomy. The lining of the anus is very delicate and easily injured or ruptured, putting the bottom at risk of infections, viral particles, and debris entering the bloodstream. This is why practicing safe sex is so important. Condoms may cramp your style, and yes, sex feels a lot better without them. But both your health and your partner’s are at stake. You can love sex even with latex – you just have to do it with caution and care.
Unprotected anal sex has long been blamed for anal cancer. In reality, the true cause of anal cancer is condylomata acuminata – or, in everyday language, genital or anal warts. Anal sex does not cause cancer in and of itself, but doing it without prophylactic protection carries the risk of developing anal warts, which can then degenerate and become cancerous. Unsexy as it sounds, any couple that engages in anal sex should get periodic, meticulous anal examinations to make sure everything’s kosher down there. If an anal wart is identified, it should be promptly removed with a laser or another extractive treatment.
Now that the safety issues have been addressed, it’s time to discuss the fun part: prostate stimulation. The prostate is a sexually sensitive organ located directly underneath the bladder and next to the rectum wall. As such, it’s often referred to as the male G-spot or the P-spot. Gentleness is the key to good anal sex – the prostate is very sensitive, so light to medium pressure is usually enough to create intense feelings of pleasure. Repetitive massaging or circular motions tend to be more enjoyable for the bottom (and less likely to result in injury) than thrusting motions. Remember to use plenty of lubricant to avoid damaging the lining of the rectum. If you use a toy or prostate massager, ensure that it is clean; sheathing it in a condom is also a good way to keep the recipient of anal sex safe.
Be forewarned that receiving pressure on your prostate can sometimes make you feel like you need to go to the bathroom. Don’t be alarmed – this is just a sensation caused by the stimulation that may take getting used to.
Now that you’re armed with knowledge, anal sex will hopefully seem less intimidating. Next time you decide to go all the way with a special someone, just relax and remember that it’s not rocket science – the same principles apply to anal sex as to every healthy sexual relationship: Be kind and gentle to one another. Do to your partner what you would have your partner do to you. Be giving and open and positive in your relationship. And above all else, love thy partner.
Dudley S. Danoff, MD, FACS, is a Diplomate of the American Board of Urology and Fellow of the American College of Surgeons. He graduated from Princeton University summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa, and from the Yale University School of Medicine. Dr. Danoff completed his urologic training and fellowship at Columbia University Presbyterian Medical Center. He served as a major in the U.S. Air Force, after which he joined the Clinical Faculty at the UCLA School of Medicine. He is currently the attending urologic surgeon and founder/president of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Tower Urology Group. Dr. Danoff and his wife, Israeli singer Hedva Amrani, live in Beverly Hills and have two children.
Years ago, he developed a keen interest in erectile dysfunction based on his disturbing observation that an increasing number of men were suffering from what he calls “penis weakness,” or PW. He noted that there was very little discussion within the urologic community about the significance of this problem in male genital health.
As he looked deeper into this major issue, he realized that the stigma surrounding erectile dysfunction and other penis problems was a force that had been plaguing not only men in modern times but also probably men throughout all of history. He began to speak out and write about the principal characteristics of this alarming pandemic and discovered a deep reality about men and their relationships to their penises: the vast majority of males were severely undereducated about their penises, from its physical function to its effects on their psyche. And for too many years, men who have suffered from self-doubt and anxiety caused by PW have done so without any guidance from the medical community—especially not from the professional urologic community.
Coming to the realization that something needed to be done, he set out to write what he hoped would be the all-inclusive guide to the major factors affecting male sexual health. His aim is to replace ignorance and mythology with factual information and to replace self-doubt with confidence. His goal is to help every man realize and achieve the sex life he desires.
As a busy urologic surgeon in Los Angeles, California, he has seen more than 200,000 penises in his professional lifetime. While each is unique, just as hands and feet are unique, they are also remarkably alike anatomically. However, there is enormous variation in how they function in their sexual capacities. He has observed that these differences in functionality and capacity have very little to do with the anatomy of a particular penis or even with a man’s size, looks, level of success, wealth, or status.
Mainly, functionality and performance is about how men perceive their own penises. In addition to understanding its biological functions, every man must learn that his penis is an organ of expression. What gives it its power is much more than the condition of its blood vessels and nerves.
The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health advocates a transformative concept based on positive thinking. Applying the power of positive thought to your penis can change your entire life.