Of all the factors that affect your sex life, the most predictable is the natural process of aging. As men get older, they often notice that their libido is no longer raging, that their erections are no longer as quick on the draw or as firm, and that they need more time to recover after sex. These changes happen at different times to different men, but they happen to every man who lives long enough! Does this mean that you have to give up on a fulfilling sex life after reaching a certain age? Of course not! If you are willing to adapt to your body’s natural changes and take extra care of yourself and your partner, you can enjoy gay sex well into your senior years.

Thanks to “magic blue pills” such as Viagra and Cialis, older men can achieve erections firm enough for penetration and boost their sexual performance. Taking erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs is not a sign of weakness – in fact, ED drugs are the most common sexual aid for men of a certain age, so you are in good company. ED pills are safe for all men when taken alone, but guys who take certain other medications should exercise caution when considering the use of ED drugs. Men who take nitroglycerine for cardiovascular disease should avoid the miracle pills, and guys who are on HIV meds should confer with their doctor to determine the safest dosages of both HIV and ED drugs.

One sexual health consideration that is especially important for gay men of all ages is avoiding sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). After decades of our society fighting to lower sexual infection rates, recent data from the CDC indicates that STD rates are climbing once again. A major factor behind this trend is the introduction of the new drug Truvada for PrEP, which is a “prophylactic” drug designed to decrease the odds of contracting AIDS and HIV. While our improved ability to prevent such devastating diseases is worth celebrating, PrEP has made many men overconfident and careless when it comes to using condoms. Condoms may cramp your style, and yes, sex feels a lot better without them. But your health (and your partner’s) is at stake. You can love sex even with latex. You just have to do it with discernment, caution, and care.

The physical changes and extra health considerations that come with growing older may seem depressing, but aging also gives you certain advantages in the sexual arena. The bright side is that with advanced years come experience and wisdom, which I’ve found to be more important in the bedroom than youthful brute vigor. As you age, not only do you acquire greater ejaculatory control, but you also learn the best tricks for pleasing and satisfying your partner. I always tell my urology patients that the greatest aphrodisiac is love. Be kind and gentle to one another. Do to your partner what you would have your partner do to you. Be giving and open and positive in your relationship. And remember, the greatest tool in your sexual arsenal resides between your ears, not between your legs!  

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Author Profile

Dr. Dudley Seth Danoff
Dr. Dudley Seth Danoff
Dudley S. Danoff, MD, FACS, is a Diplomate of the American Board of Urology and Fellow of the American College of Surgeons. He graduated from Princeton University summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa, and from the Yale University School of Medicine. Dr. Danoff completed his urologic training and fellowship at Columbia University Presbyterian Medical Center. He served as a major in the U.S. Air Force, after which he joined the Clinical Faculty at the UCLA School of Medicine. He is currently the attending urologic surgeon and founder/president of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Tower Urology Group. Dr. Danoff and his wife, Israeli singer Hedva Amrani, live in Beverly Hills and have two children.

Years ago, he developed a keen interest in erectile dysfunction based on his disturbing observation that an increasing number of men were suffering from what he calls “penis weakness,” or PW. He noted that there was very little discussion within the urologic community about the significance of this problem in male genital health.

As he looked deeper into this major issue, he realized that the stigma surrounding erectile dysfunction and other penis problems was a force that had been plaguing not only men in modern times but also probably men throughout all of history. He began to speak out and write about the principal characteristics of this alarming pandemic and discovered a deep reality about men and their relationships to their penises: the vast majority of males were severely undereducated about their penises, from its physical function to its effects on their psyche. And for too many years, men who have suffered from self-doubt and anxiety caused by PW have done so without any guidance from the medical community—especially not from the professional urologic community.

Coming to the realization that something needed to be done, he set out to write what he hoped would be the all-inclusive guide to the major factors affecting male sexual health. His aim is to replace ignorance and mythology with factual information and to replace self-doubt with confidence. His goal is to help every man realize and achieve the sex life he desires.

As a busy urologic surgeon in Los Angeles, California, he has seen more than 200,000 penises in his professional lifetime. While each is unique, just as hands and feet are unique, they are also remarkably alike anatomically. However, there is enormous variation in how they function in their sexual capacities. He has observed that these differences in functionality and capacity have very little to do with the anatomy of a particular penis or even with a man’s size, looks, level of success, wealth, or status.

Mainly, functionality and performance is about how men perceive their own penises. In addition to understanding its biological functions, every man must learn that his penis is an organ of expression. What gives it its power is much more than the condition of its blood vessels and nerves.

The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health advocates a transformative concept based on positive thinking. Applying the power of positive thought to your penis can change your entire life.