Love Me? Agree With Me!

In these polarized times, it is impossible not to be affected by the conflicts we see/hear/observe around us. As a result, relationships reflect the turmoil and bring up values and beliefs we may not have been aware of. Even when you have known another person for years, there is always some little corner, some quirk that never emerged. This is true for all of us because our life experiences mold us in concert with our unique genes. If you have never had to swim, how would you know what it would feel like? Situations bring up fears and anxiety, and […]

Happy National Coming Out Day!

This coming Monday, October 11 is National Coming Out Day. This holiday has been meaningful and even transformative in my life. I remember the first celebration I attended as clearly as if it were yesterday, and the speakers and stories I heard that day. I found a place I didn’t know I was looking for, and people embraced me and welcomed me. Fast-forward a few decades, and such events are rare. There has been a cultural shift that has led some to question if this holiday even matters anymore. It’s true that someone coming out as LGBTQ today is more […]

Anger In A Relationship

Anger is a state of arousal in response to an expectation of frustration, or of an obstacle to where you want to go or what you want to do. The dictionary defines it as: a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. It is a natural emotion. But it is not perceived as positive. Many people grow up in families where the expression of anger is clearly discouraged and labeled as bad. What is important is b being able to differentiate between the experience of anger and the form it takes in expression. When one shows anger by physical violence, […]

LGBTQ-Affirming Healthcare Requires More Than a One-Hour Training

Gay men in Baltimore needed STI treatment in 1978, but continually found ineptitude and humiliation from providers who had no knowledge about their patients’ risks or their realities. Chase Brexton Health Care started out in a basement apartment near North Avenue to address that critical need.   Though LGBTQ legal rights and cultural legitimacy are a world away from the stigma of the past, too many of us are still facing clueless or cruel medical experiences in 2021. A recent study published in the Journal of Homosexuality, echoing the dismal findings of those from a decade or two ago, found […]

Can Conflict Be Healthy?

There exists a generalization that what creates conflict or an argument between partners typically involves money or sex. There is often much truth to this, but daily life brings all kinds of topics and situations that create conflict between people. So, is it human nature that we bicker or have a verbal fight? Even identical twins who grow up in the same family end up having differences in opinions, beliefs, expectations, or preferences. So, if conflict cannot be avoided, what is the best way to deal with it? I have heard people claim that they “never” fight. That tells me […]

Psychological Safety

Are there times in a group or with a partner/friend, you want to say something but don’t? What guides your decision to stay quiet or speak up? We are living in times when a lot of people feel strongly about issues but may keep their thoughts or opinions to themselves. But then there are others who declare what is on their minds without regard to other people’s reactions as well. Accepting that one was wrong seems to be difficult for many people. Why is that? We all know that no individual can be right all the time. The cultural messages […]

Disconnect And Reconnect

The past year and a half saw many connections put on hold, stymied, dropped, or outright rejected. Some of the reasons involved differences of opinion, fears of being around people, or even taking the option of not connecting. Now that we are slowly entering another phase of dealing with this pandemic, the variant notwithstanding, do we reconnect? Do we continue to isolate? Do we reevaluate those friendships, relationships, and connections with a new perspective regarding their place in our lives? What I hear from several people, present company included, is that we all have started to take another look of […]

Resilience Needed. Again.

We are living in a time of turmoil and transition. Just as it seemed the road was open, there came another obstacle to clear, a hurricane to go through, or debris to throw away. So once again, we have to tap into our resources to claim the energy to persist, the determination to hang onto our resolve and to maintain the hope that we will prevail. That our vaccinated, mask-wearing and distancing family, friends, neighbors, or other people we come in contact with, will do the same so we can overcome an invisible virus that kills. In this process, it […]

Delta variant of Covid: What is it, and is it really that big a deal?

Dear Dr. Eva,  We are hearing about another new Covid variant, Delta. We’ve already heard about, and some people have panicked over, the British variant and the Brazilian variant. However, those don’t seem to have changed the course of the pandemic in our country. Is this just another cry of “wolf,” or is it really time to go get the masks out again? Skeptic   Dear Skeptic, It does seem as if there’s a new coronavirus scare every month. So far, new strains haven’t affected most people’s lives or the Covid death rate in this country as a whole. Unless […]

Pride in Pride

As I look at these light displays in two of Baltimore’s iconic buildings, I am aware that in all the years, it is the first time that this has happened here. I think of how the White House was bathed in rainbow colors when marriage equality became a reality. I think of friends and acquaintances who are now wife and wife, and husband and husband. I think of the couples who are now enjoying parenthood. And I feel proud. Then my other, more realistic side kicks in: The bills being introduced against trans kids and adults, the effort to deny […]