‘Family’ is Really Family

I was looking back through the wedding pictures this week. It’s been almost a month and it seems like a lifetime ago. Our daughter and her new husband looked so happy. Their friends gathered around them. Everyone had a great time and the event was absolutely gorgeous. But then, I looked closer and realized how many people worked to make that one event happen. The DJ was amazing. I found him by connecting with some Drag Queen friends, who recommended this guy as one of the best. He kept the party hopping from the first song to the last. And, […]

Drama Can Hurt Us All

I hate family drama. Actually, I’m not fond of drama of any kind, but I particularly loathe family drama. You know what I mean – that kind of drama where family members gossip about each other, making up “facts” and distorting the truth. And, I’ve found that most people who like to spread the drama are the ones who have similar stories of their own. For example, one of my grown kids has been criticizing a younger sibling for walking away from her kids. She has two little boys and isn’t in a good place to provide for them. She […]

Kids Are People, Too

We took the kids on vacation last week and had a blast. We vacation at our family’s Ocean City beach condo that we’ve had since I was in college. It’s an easy, inexpensive trip for us. The kids enjoyed taking walks around the town, where there are millions of things to see. We all enjoyed the beach and playing in the sand. Cassandra especially enjoyed the water and finding sand crabs. We had good seafood and a lot of family time. It was great. But, the trip didn’t start off as magically as it could’ve. The first day, several of […]

My Kids Are My Kids

I have a pet peeve. Well, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have several pet peeves. However, one of them takes precedence over the others. I have a serious issue with folks who insist on pointing out the difference between adopted kids and biologically related kids in a family. I’m adopted. I was adopted as an infant, so I don’t remember any other home than the one I grew up in. That’s my family. They’re my mom and dad and brother. I met my biological mother about 20 years ago. She’s a super woman and I adore her sons. […]

Did I Do it Right?

Sometimes, as a parent, it’s hard to know if you’re doing the right thing. What exactly is the plan for your kids? What are you trying to accomplish? We often say that our job as parents is to give our kids the tools they need to survive adulthood. Now, you and I both know that we can never teach them everything they will need to know in a lifetime. We can’t begin to anticipate every circumstance and challenge. But, we can provide them with basic skills. We explain that if they learn to be polite at home, they will have […]

Proud of Pride

When you’re raising kids, certain days are memorable. Birthdays, school events, religious holidays, and family vacations. In our house, Pride season is definitely a part of that list. My kids, both young and old, love going to Pride events. Our kids are quick to invite their friends to go along to Pride events because “Mom always goes.” I end up taking the kids in our family, extended family, school family, family friends, and random other people who come along for the fun. The kids have special Pride outfits they wear. Their shirts promote love and their colors are usually rainbow. […]

Who Knows Him Best?

Over the years, I have spent a considerable amount of time dealing with specialists. Doctors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, you name it, I’ve been there. However, it never ceases to amaze me how much most professionals push aside the advice of a child’s parent. Last week, I had a meeting with my son’s psychiatric treatment team. He has severe mental illness and has been living in a psychiatric hospital for months after he attacked one of our teenaged daughters with a knife. Our daughter is fine. Our son is not. He continues to struggle with his diagnosis. Medication has not proven […]

The Ups and Downs of Parenting

Sometimes, being a parent is hard.  Trying to keep it together when your child is sick or injured.  Knowing that you would do everything, but really can’t do anything to help.  And then, there’s watching when your child’s heart is broken.  Or, standing by as they take those first big steps of independence.    Yesterday, was a rough day.  Work has been stressful, with multiple overlapping deadlines.  I haven’t had as much time to spend with the kids as I’d like.  Then, one of my adult sons called to curse at me because his day had gone badly.  He’s seriously mentally […]

Off to School?

Most parents remember the first time they sent their little one off to school. They remember going to register their five-year-old for kindergarten or preschool. They picture that little face filled with excitement and worry climbing aboard the school bus or entering the classroom. They remember the little lunch box and backpack. I never had those first memories. My kids arrived either already in school or too young to care. By the time most of my little ones were big enough for school, we’d already established our private school. So, for the most part, all but a few of our […]

Bullies on the Playground

The other day some of my big kids took my little kids to the park. This is one of the benefits of having so many kids. There are kids who can drive, who enjoy taking little kids to the park or the trampoline park or on playdates. Anyway, the kids arrived at the park to find they were the only ones at the playground. It was great for a while. The little kids laughed and played. They ran from swings to slides. The older kids took turns pushing the kids on swings or chatting with each other. A couple of […]