The Future and What it Holds

The last few months have been a wild ride. But, what is yet to come will make life seem as if it was short and null. In the last weeks, I’ve graduated and planned a move to across the country. I have scheduled an appointment consultation for top surgery, and hit my one year mark on hormones. However, in the next coming months, I will have had my name changed, moved across country, started a new school, and will have finally started a life for myself. Some have come to ask if I am fearful for what is to come. […]

Being a 17-Year-Old Adult Sucks

So today, I am going to go on a little rant about something that happened to me two weeks ago. It had nothing to do with being misgendered or someone calling me my birth name. It had to do with something so simple. I am on a lower than average dose of testosterone, which means that my vial lasts me for a very long time. About four or five months to be exact. The past two times that I went to go pick up my vials, it was simple and quick. But, this time it turned out to be more […]

Still Good Friends

The end of the semester just happened and I felt it was time I told some of the people closest to me about me being trans. Now, I was not obligated to do so, and often I don’t feel that it is anyone’s business. But I thought that maybe they’d like to know because it is a small part of who I am. For the most part, I knew that they’d take it well. There was just one person in particular that I was worried about. For right now, we will just call him Kanye. He was one of the […]

One’s Sense of Self

Many times, I write about the struggles and downsides of what it is like to be transgender. But, what I have failed to mention is that is actually the best thing that has happened in my life. For so long I struggled with who I really was. I still do, but now, at least, I have a sense of self. I had many inner conflicts and didn’t understand why. Fighting a constant battle with myself to be better, be different from how I was, because somehow I knew that it was not me. The person I would stare at in […]

Getting One Step Closer

Today, I am writing this as someone who is getting closer to loving himself. I am finding the paths in life that will lead me to destinations I thought were unimaginable to reach. In three weeks I will be one year down the path of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) – a journey that was painfully long awaited and truthfully worth the wait. I reflect back to where I was about a year ago and see how oblivious I was to how much my life was about to change. I am still impatient about certain changes that I want to go […]

Dead Names

My dead name is not something that I dread with absolute hatred, however, it is also not something I enjoy hearing. And, being in my situation, I am often in an environment where my legal name has to be used. The most frustrating part of this situation is that I was so close to actually getting my name legally changed. I finally had the money and time for it, but of course it seems that life goes down as soon as it goes up. I was unable to change it because I moved to another county and local laws say […]

The Journey

What if all your like-minded friends are going on a trip together and you’re not able to go? They’re all happy, confident, and openly posting about what they experience. You’re a little jealous, but also hopeful, knowing that you’re almost there. Eventually you have enough money, are old enough, or are in the right location to finally go on this trip, too. Slowly but surely, you see that you are having a great time. You anticipate everything that you saw in their experiences, and you become more confident because you have started this trip. This puts in perspective what many […]

Stealthing: Hiding in Plain Sight

  Have you ever wondered what it might feel like when you spend every single day with the same people, yet they do not know one of the biggest things about you? For me it is a very delicate and somewhat humorous situation. What many of us do is called stealthing or being stealth, which basically means that I live my life at school with no one knowing that I am transgender. It is a blessing because in order to stealth, you must pass decently well. However, sometimes with blessings, there are curses, too. In order to stay stealth, there are […]

Identity Fog: Life Transitions

If you are questioning who you are, don’t be afraid. Questioning your gender identity can be a very scary and perplexing situation. However, the more slowly and gradually you work through it, the easier it will become. Many resources can act as a guide to help you through the process of finding yourself. Here are a couple of tips and things to keep in mind when questioning your identity. Know that your feelings are valid. This may be the most cliché line you ever heard; however, the people around you will have their own opinions. Try to remember that the […]