Maya Montana, What Should We Do?!

Maya Montana has been impersonating females for 25 years as a performer starting in Baltimore. Here, she won Miss Gay Maryland Newcomer 1994, Miss Hippo 1995, and Miss Gay Maryland 1996. She subsequently moved to Virginia winning the title Miss Gay Virginia 1997 and ultimately Miss Gay America 1998. Maya now resides in Key West as an entertainer at Aqua Nightclub. Notorious for her elaborate peacock costume, let’s ruffle her feathers and dive into her world for some fanciful advice. Kevin Assam: The hair spray for my Tina Turner wig works fabulously but isn’t eco-friendly. What should I do? Maya […]

Take My Emotional Support Flamingo to Alexander’s Guesthouse?

“Game of Thrones.” Celebrity sightings. Emotional support flamingos! Laura Zequeira-Smith is 2019 Innkeeper of the Year and the general manager of the award-winning Alexander’s Guesthouse in the thick of Key West. Let’s rummage through her experiences for advice on some truly pressing guest matters. Kevin Assam: My employee contract says no sleeping with guests. But what if I slept with a friend of a guest behind the Cuban food truck? Is that permissible? Laura Zequeira-Smith: As fun as that sounds, we do not want our employees acting promiscuously with any guests or friends of guests. This is in keeping with […]

Dates in the House of the Lord

Easter Sunday drama! Elton John tickets! Hair in your fettuccini? Let’s shut all this down with another relationship column you didn’t ask for but absolutely need. I have been seeing my boyfriend for one month. I want to bring him to my diehard Roman Catholic mother’s Easter Sunday mass. Should I?  Unlike Sunday lunch, church is another ball game where the only things on the menu are wafers, wine, and judgment. If your boyfriend is down to go and not a hostage, that shows dedication on his part. Unless your mother is as chilled as mine, expect to be scrutinized […]

The Unreal Estate of Mind

Ruined art. Tricky leases. Gay meccas. Stephanie Barnow of the Swan Team at Keller Williams Compass Realty is your cookie baking girl-next-door realtor with a not so sweet dose of reality for your property woes and wild real estate scenarios. Combined with my zany imagination this makes her the not-so-perfect expert for this week’s grilling.  Kevin Assam: I went to an open house where I accidentally leaned on a Chagall and damaged it. I immediately left. Should I tell the realtor? Stephanie Barnow: My mother said if you make a mistake, own up to it. Your realtor will contact the […]