Psychological Safety

Are there times in a group or with a partner/friend, you want to say something but don’t? What guides your decision to stay quiet or speak up? We are living in times when a lot of people feel strongly about issues but may keep their thoughts or opinions to themselves. But then there are others who declare what is on their minds without regard to other people’s reactions as well. Accepting that one was wrong seems to be difficult for many people. Why is that? We all know that no individual can be right all the time. The cultural messages […]

Disconnect And Reconnect

The past year and a half saw many connections put on hold, stymied, dropped, or outright rejected. Some of the reasons involved differences of opinion, fears of being around people, or even taking the option of not connecting. Now that we are slowly entering another phase of dealing with this pandemic, the variant notwithstanding, do we reconnect? Do we continue to isolate? Do we reevaluate those friendships, relationships, and connections with a new perspective regarding their place in our lives? What I hear from several people, present company included, is that we all have started to take another look of […]

Resilience Needed. Again.

We are living in a time of turmoil and transition. Just as it seemed the road was open, there came another obstacle to clear, a hurricane to go through, or debris to throw away. So once again, we have to tap into our resources to claim the energy to persist, the determination to hang onto our resolve and to maintain the hope that we will prevail. That our vaccinated, mask-wearing and distancing family, friends, neighbors, or other people we come in contact with, will do the same so we can overcome an invisible virus that kills. In this process, it […]

Pride in Pride

As I look at these light displays in two of Baltimore’s iconic buildings, I am aware that in all the years, it is the first time that this has happened here. I think of how the White House was bathed in rainbow colors when marriage equality became a reality. I think of friends and acquaintances who are now wife and wife, and husband and husband. I think of the couples who are now enjoying parenthood. And I feel proud. Then my other, more realistic side kicks in: The bills being introduced against trans kids and adults, the effort to deny […]

Off to the Races

(Photo by Laura Gilchrist on Unsplash) We are in the middle of the horseracing season, what with the Kentucky Derby and the Pimlico Preakness already over. We are also in the middle of emerging from more than a year of hibernation to protect ourselves and our loved ones from a deadly virus. This change in lifestyle with the isolation, the diminished social and physical contact (read: hugs at the very least) meant that our relationships were affected in many ways. Those who lived alone and those who had others in the household experienced reactions ranging from increased senses of loneliness, […]

Blah Days And Anniversaries

Photo credit: Adrian Swancar, unsplash.com) It has been many months of indistinguishable days, warped time concept, fatigue, losses in many ways, and just getting through what we have to do, again and again. In a very thoughtful and informative article, Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, uses the term “languishing” for this state of the world:(https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html).  Whatever you may call it, we all have to recognize that none of us, in this universe, is immune to the pandemic and its effects. The question then becomes, how do we deal with this in our relationships, friendships and even more so, within ourselves? […]

Conflicts With The Loved One

It has been a long year of isolation, fear, anxiety, loneliness, loss and restrictions. Not that we could not find some green shoots, some positive aspects with what life brought us. But overall, the consequences of a long period of dealing with a pandemic is showing up in our behaviors and moods. There is a huge increase in demand for mental health resources with predictions of future cardiological issues in the population. In addition to those health concerns, we have also had to deal with a fiercely divided and polarized community. This is where relationships have taken a major hit. […]

Fear and Courage in Dating

Winston Churchill is known for his witty and pithy comments. One that recently struck me is the following: “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.” In the past year, we have all had to deal with a certain amount of fear, fear that we may get infected, or someone we care about may, and illness and death have been all around us. Some of us lost loved ones, friends, or neighbors, and dealt with all the grief those bring. With the pandemic, a separate layer of issues has permeated the dating scene. How do you meet people? Online? Then […]

Messages To My Mind

Hello Mind! You sometimes lead me to dead end corners where the same tune plays over and over. I get sick of it…Why won’t you listen to my pleas to stop? I know, I know. Old tunes take a while to get out of circulation. But now, it is a new time, with new rules, new openings and paths.   So we have lived through almost a year of an invisible virus interfering with our lives. It has disrupted the usual workflow, the social engagements, the physical activities, the cultural events and for a lot of people, their livelihood. It […]

Forgive, Forget, And Move On?

As a country, we are going through a time of transition. Politics aside, what goes on around us affects each one of us and our relationships whether we keep up with current events or not. I have talked with many people who had arguments, even fights, with close friends, partners or family, and broke connections with some. In other cases, people shunned them for the disagreements. So now, what do we do? How do we deal with the fallout? Or maybe even: Do we want to deal with the fallout? Most people grow up thinking of disagreement as a criticism […]