A Reluctant Case of Change

Change is an inescapable part of being human. Whether it is little changes, like expanding one’s taste in food or music to outside of their normal go-to, or even a big change, such as moving to a new city, all changes impact us differently. I have friends who have up and moved cross-country with what to me seems like minimal planning, and completely thrived in their new surroundings. The phrase “creature of habit” does not do me justice. There was a week straight where I ate Burger King for every meal, and while I am not proud to admit that, […]

How Lizzo is Bringing More than an Award Show’s House Down

My wife and I watched Lizzo’s performance from the MTV Movie and TV awards a combined 30 times this week. My YouTube now has a row entitled “Watch Again,” which consists of just that video. I have at least a dozen albums that are not a part of our music subscription’s licensing that I enjoy playing along to, and an unhealthy and longstanding obsession with The Lonely Island’s videos, and the only video that has ever prompted this new category is Lizzo. I love both the homage to Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. Alli is far less a […]

Late Night Dates and Nostalgia

Every night is the same in my life. After we put the pup to bed in his crate for the night, we head upstairs for our own nightly unwind before bed. Usually, since I work until 11, we are also scarfing down our dinner as we slowly transition. Part of our ritual is vehemently searching for something to watch. Currently, we are caught up on most everything we watch and until our summer shows begin again, we are usually watching “Judge Judy” videos on Youtube while my wife suggests literally anything else. Usually she suggests movies, which is a quagmire, […]

Communal Pride

Less than 24 hours ago, I was sitting in a room with a dozen and a half other trans and enby [non-binary] folks from the Delaware-Virginia-Maryland area and I found myself feeling homesick. Homesick is the incorrect word. I was surrounded by the most trans and enby folks I have ever been around at the same time, and seeing each and every one of these amazing people shine and share their stories and triumphs was something that I have not been able to see in person in my activism and advocacy. I was the lone Western Marylander, and I realized […]

A Call for Cameraderie in Combat

This week, in its ever-growing battle to keep American social progress back as many centuries as possible, Alabama passed the most sweeping abortion ban in the country, to date. Heartbeat bills have now been passed in four states, with another one waiting the signature of its governor. There are two states who have had their versions of the law struck down by federal courts, and one that was struck down by the state court. There are three states with similar bills having passed halfway through their respective state houses. That is over a fifth of states that have or have […]

Breaking My Chains

Today, a guest yelled at me. Usually I deal with one to two disgruntled (re: absolutely brutish) guests on a shift. It is currently at the halfway point in my shift this evening, and I am on my second hand of counting individuals who just needed to use me as an emotional outlet. On one hand I am sympathetic – there is nothing more exhausting than an entire day of traveling. As someone who has been all over this country and a couple international places, traveling is exhausting. Vacationing is wonderful – the getting there is not. However, as a […]

Behind-the-Scene Heroes

My wife is the strongest person I know. If you saw her out and about, she looks like the most Clark Kent-esque person, glasses included. Besides her well-documented love of sweets, her hobbies include naps, petting cats, and destroying anyone who faces her in Mario Kart. But behind that sweet and innocent smile lies an indestructible heart of steel and a temperament that allows her to be screamed at all day long by people in the worst moments of their lives. My wife is an emergency dispatch operator and in honor of National Public Safety Telecommunicator Week (April 14th to […]

The Boy with the Bicycle

Outside of my life as an activist / columnist / freelance musician, the job that keeps a roof over my head and entirely too much pizza in my diet is as a front desk agent for a hotel. Most of my shifts are uneventful, the most exciting part of the evening being the 15 minutes I eat my salad. The night I met Bo was no exception. It is not uncommon to have people ask to wait inside our lobby to escape the elements in the winter, and the night I met Bo was one of those. It was an […]

Good Parents Bad Son

My earliest memories that are not of me donning miniature versions of my father’s work outfit and carrying around my own tools, are of my mother explaining to me why my brother and I did not look like our parents. While many biracial and black children adopted by white parents grow up in homes that do not push the enrichment of their child’s biological culture and heritage; my parents always encouraged us to explore our roots, and would go out of their comfort zone to ensure we always knew how fiercely we were loved, and how proud we should be […]

Mid-March Musings

Six months ago, a hometown friend posted that the local LGBTQ group has a couple of vacancies on its board of directors. A year prior, this friend had encouraged me to work with him at said group. He was trying to get a trans support group started, and the occasional rant apparently made me someone worth contacting, somehow. I was six months on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and was not feeling as “masculine” as other transmen appeared on Instagram; and obviously I was not good enough. Instead of articulating that as I just did, I dragged my feet answering messages, […]