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Friday, November 11, 2016

The Q in Me

Written by  Rev. Jeffrey D. Harris

You know, running track, lifting weights, shoot the breeze with his other “jock” friends and discuss the local girls they taunted and so forth. However, today, it was extremely awkward. That feeling I mentioned earlier. Well, not for Sam, but me. Sam has always approached me with a towel wrapped around his waist showing off his muscles. Sat down in front of me and literally have a whole conversation while drying off. Mentally I be like, “Dude, would you please wrap up? Or put some clothes on?” But today... something happened and it was wonky.

Sam approached me rubbing that scruffy towel over his muscular body but this time my eyes followed his every swirl. It was like with every circular motion I became more and more enchanted as the towel went over his biceps, triceps, across his brown muscular chest, pecks sitting so high and round and that deep crease in the middle. Down went the towel over his six-pack and around that V waistline then thrust down across his pubic hairs and THAT’S WHERE I LOST IT! I lost my total thought. My heart beats were so fast, I swear they could be heard two aisles over. The thumping beats became deafening to me. All of sudden I got lightheaded and heated as the blood thrust through every vein of my body. Literally, the movement of blood in my veins I felt. Understanding what was going on, I was totally oblivious. These emotions were coming from someplace which I had no clue! How? What? When? Where? Before I knew it I felt my “manhood” stretching and growing until it was at full command and I stuttered over my words as I quickly made my way to escape him and the conversation. “Oh my gawd, what just happened?” Where did those emotions come from? How could I…? Why did I…? Who am I…? Where did I…? When did I…? What does this mean? What will my friends and family think? Does this mean I’m (sigh) gay? I have never... yes I’m a virgin! Never had a sexual encounter with a female and definitely never thought of sex with a dude. But Sam was a nice specimen of man! Golden brown, a man’s man! The way he walked! He had that, what we call “swag”. He that slick type a dude! Slightly bow-legged and the way he talk. Even his voice and language compels you. All the girls like him. But now, he, umm, I… These thoughts are mine? Why is my psyche playing tricks on me? “I AM NOT GAY!” I really like the young lady in my science class. She is so beautiful and has a nice body.

All the way home though, continuously I saw Sam naked and talking to me, well I saw his lips moving but not a word could I hear. Every time I visualized Sam drying himself, my level of arousal grew and grew. I didn’t know what to do. My thoughts were detailed – it was like he was still standing in front me. The mental picture of him was as real as my hand, like reaching out to touch him was truly a possibility. What will he think of me? What will my family think? I don’t even know what to think!

That walk home and the quietness-so loud and being concerned about what the locals thought of me were the last of my worries.

Nightfall came not fast enough. Thinking this was some type of crazy dream and when morning comes it will all be over. Well, the night seem to last way too long. Sleep was not my friend. She ran quickly and so as I pondered today’s events and what it all meant. No resolution.


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