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Monday, September 19, 2016

Not the Wrong Body

Written by  Merrick Moses

Transition is different for all. No one person’s transition is the blueprint or rule for all. Just like there are no two roses which are exactly alike, there is no real stock narrative regarding gender/sex transition and reassignment.

My own personal story is not one of the “wrong body” trope. My spirituality requires me to take responsibility for the conditions of my incarnation in this lifetime. I am very clear that I created the karma, over many lifetimes, to be born in this body, in this physical vehicle, in this lifetime. There is no mistake or wrong in that regarding my own being.

With that said, a major part of my evolution as a human being in this lifetime is my transition from female to male. As I delve deeper into my own contemplative spiritual practices, I am clear that the advancement of my own consciousness actually required my transition. I was called by the highest echoes of my heart space to live out fully the seed of masculinity placed in my consciousness eons ago. I know this may sound rather “Star Trek” Zen, but for me, this is the reality. I have done much spiritual work around my transition, including chanting hours of Buddhist mantra (Nam myoho renge kyo), silent meditation, rosaries to the Blessed Mother, and Ifa prayer/consultation to know this was my path. I had resisted so much of this for years out of fear, out of intimidation and lack of self-love. On the cusp of 40, I decided I wanted to live courageous and boldly in the truth of self-love. How could I be a good priest, knowing that Jesus said, “The truth shall set you free,” but live in a lie? As I have stated before, I reached a point where I, not only needed to live in alignment, but was compelled to find a way to walk fully in that awareness in present reality.

I believe it is important that trans people tell our stories in a way that is most pertinent and important to us. The media and others in the business of mass communication enjoy stock narratives because they are cookie cutter ways of telling complex human stories and histories. However, our lives are not 140-character tweets or even a Facebook post. Human life is complex and rich in experience and diversity. It is absolutely significant that those who want to share their stories, in essence sharing parts of their heart space, do so, unfettered in an honest way. The problem with the “wrong body” story is that it is told as if it is every trans person’s story. It has mushroomed so much that there are some who I have spoken to that seemed surprised when I say I was not incarnated into the “wrong body”. It also presupposes that there is a “right” and “wrong” in this whole equation. We should ask who decides what is right and wrong regarding this? Is the person who told the story or is it the society into which this person was born?

All people have the right to self determination. Transfolks are no different. I would like non-transfolks to stop expecting trans people to say we were born into the wrong body. That isn’t everyone’s reality nor should it be. My story is just one of many. And the truth is that the personal stories of transition are narratives of some of the rarest human narratives on the planet, and dare I say one of the oldest spanning across millenia, cultures, and civilizations.

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