| Article Index |
|---|
| Premature March? |
| Page 2 |
| All Pages |
Sam Unfiltered
Premature March?
By Sam Kunz
So darlings, apparently your Auntie Sam doesn’t own a calendar because had I, I wouldn’t have blown my gossip load on the last column. So here’s some good ol’ B’more dirt.
So last week, I went to a Goth show at the old Hammerjacks. Some of you older queens might remember that as THE place to go in the 80’s. The 1980’s, not your 401K returns. Ohh girls...I saw some card carrying, Melissa Etheridge- blaring, K.D Lang -ticket holding, Ellen- loving lesbians. I mean, female American Gladiator contestant dykes. Once more, another 80’s reference. It was a great show though; I always support the Goth crowd.
I love a man in makeup, and hell, without the Goths, Gillette’s stock would plummet. Also, a side note to the lesbians, darlings, I love you, but brillo belongs in the drawer...Not out the drawers...
Who should I run into at the Phoenix, her royal drunkenness, the legendary Tia Chambers, who castigated me for not putting her in my column. No sooner had she done that, she was stumbling back up the stairs and out into the oblivion, which one, the Baltimore night or her own, I could tell not. There ya go honey, you made it in. Though I must confess more beg me not to put them in than do.
Onto my third, or second for those queens keeping count, brings me to my new bestest friend. Mr. Randy Vaseline. Such a charming moniker, who acquired the nom de plume by routinely applying liberal doses of his namesake on the door handle to my car as a joke. Well, I finally had the chance to return the favor to Mr. Vaseline and got him good. I can tell him now, Um, Mr. Randy, though I did leave a mess on your door handle that was white, sticky and wouldn’t come off easily, it was not Vaseline my dear. Leave the gossip columnists car doors alone girl.
Ran into some old friends Friday night. Do you know what I love about time passing? It really does heal old wounds. I missed these guys for the longest time. But now that we are talking again, I realized that there is a group of friends I will never be friends with again, not by my choice, but by theirs. It makes me sad to an extent, it really does.
But I finally had to see for myself that some people are just that way and are what you would call "Fair Weather Friends." As long as you are on top of the world, they are there. But once you have a few problems, they are gone quicker than a seafood platter in Star Jones’ dressing room.
Children, trust me, I am no saint. I not only had a few problems, I had a Louis Vuitton matching set of drama baggage. But after a few years, I am back on top and I made a promise to my good friends and you all know who you are, to never abandon them, just because they may have a few problems. Always be there for your friends and help them weather the storm, because in this community baby, I’ve seen quite a few ships go down because people didn’t care. I will always be a lighthouse pointing the way back to Grooviness for my friends who somehow lost their way. So I hope I haven’t bored you too much with this bit, but it was something near and dear to my heart.
