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Ask Dr. J

Ask Dr. J

by Janan Broadbent, Ph.D

Friday, January 05, 2018

2018-Mea Culpa...Not!

So here comes another year, 2018, once we got through the reviews, the best and the worst of 2017 on media of all forms, social, visual and print. In the spirit of embarking on a new calendar and perhaps in spite of it, I plead guilty that I will not follow some of the traditional approaches to this event.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Holidays

Savor vs. Dread

Approaching this time of the year, I hear a lot of moans and groans, and for sure, there can be a lot to complain about. The rush to make sure you get the right gifts; the agony of figuring out where you are going, by what means, and how much that will cost; that knot inside when you think of being with some family and friends who typically get into arguments; that uncle or aunt who gets drunk and brings up all kinds of past grievances and will not let go…. Yeah, I hear you. Those do happen. Not to mention anything weather-related.

Friday, December 08, 2017

Chat vs. Work Mode

Social media can be criticized for many reasons, but let me acknowledge that it also has many upsides. I’ve made a number of acquantances with whom the paths would not have crossed due to physical distance and separation of knowledge spheres. I find new information and resources in that venue that enrich my life and work. Here is a tweet that gave me food for thought:

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Morality and Identity

We’re living in times when our sense of right and wrong is being challenged. When you think of yourself, of what all makes you the person you are, what do you see? What do you also see when you look at the people in your life, your partner, family, friends, or coworkers?

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Comfort Zone? Ditch It!

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. – Thomas Aquinas

Think of times in your life when all was well – job, school, and love life, proceeding smoothly... For some, those are times when an almost-itch starts to develop. Seeking change, looking for some excitement. For others, a need to preserve this state, to savor the comfort and to stay in a homeostatic balance. There is no right or wrong in these approaches to life: We all have learned behaviors, personality styles, character, and preferred modes of behavior. What we do know is that innovation, improvement, or progress does not come out of the comfort zone. The human condition seeks that place of familiarity, and it is only when there is some disturbance, some out-of-whack factor, or even pain, that we act to change. I have worked with many couples that complain about the relationship, but will not make any changes in their behavior, and it is hard to remind them that perhaps the pain is not bad enough to overcome the resistance to change.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Elevating Debate in a Relationship

Whatever context you might imagine, it is hard to get away from the horrific after-effects of the Las Vegas massacre. This was not a crime of passion, or a bar brawl, or road rage. It was 100% premeditated, planned-in-cold-blood killing of human beings who were enjoying a musical performance. If you have read Scott Peck’s People of the Lie you may remember that the subtitle is: “The hope for healing human evil.” Although for this shooter the issue is moot, I cannot imagine just where you might even begin to address the evil pathology that must have existed there.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Nature’s Best Deed

Promoting Compassion

Harvey, Irma, Jose... As we’ve watched with awe, what Mother Nature can do, it’s also brought us face-to-face with the best traits of human beings. Frankly, in the last several months, I had started to question my basic belief in the positive and good nature of people. The divisiveness, the nasty and cruel comments on social media and elsewhere, even with people face-to-face with others in stores, became a huge obstacle to having faith in the human race. Granted, there were many factors adding fuel to that fire, but I kept wondering how any person could become so twisted. This from someone who has been working with people for the last 35 years...

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